Moving on

Finished the case management at 10.30am. Wosh! That's too quick for 11 files. Somehow I think I need a better challenge ~ wah, statement mengada2. Kena cross over nanti, baru nanges :-(

I took another EL yesterday. Nope, bukan demam. It was just my old migraine that struck again after years (sigh). Why sudden migraine? Terlalu memikir masalah dunia, I think :-P

I hardly had a good night sleep the last weekend. Every time I closed my eyes I saw things that made me sad. Contohnya, tiba2 mimpi website JPA yang iklankan HLP. Lepas tu mimpi mesin scan kat registry. Pastu mimpi kereta jabatan bawa dokumen. All those are connected with HLP... Jadi, setiap kali terjaga, aku mesti susah nak tidur semula. Bila tidur semula, mimpi lagi. It repeated for times! Seriously betul2 mengganggu rutin hidupku. Penangan HLP.

Waktu yang betul2 nyenyak untuk tidur tanpa mimpi hanyalah pada pagi sehingga tengahari, which was the most improper times when it comes to weekend when you have wedding invitation to attend. 

Jadi kena juga bangun pagi. Bersiap-siap. For me and my kid. Lepas tu kena enjoy the journey and buat muka enjoy the wedding, makan-makan, suap Arissa, diselang seli dengan jeritan2 manja kat Arissa yang suka buat perkara2 yang mummy tak suka, cthnya makan semua jenis gula2 dari pek doorgift dan luahkan semula hanya untuk merasa - how does it taste like? and there goes tangan melekit-lekit dan saliva kena kat baju kurung dia dan mummy sekali. Hish, kalau anak orang lain dah kena sekeh ni :-) and lepas makan-makan, tengok pengantin, salam-salam dan make a move.

Jadi semalam, pada hari Isnin yang nyaman, daku telah menidurkan diri ini sehingga tengahari dan bangun hanya utk masak, makan, sebelum kembali melepak di atas katil sambil browse internet dengan handphone, kononnya nak cari kekosongan kerja lain (pleaselah...!) di samping nonton siaran ulangan konsert akhir AF9 sambil sekejap tertidur sekejap tercelik.  Anyway, menyampah juga tengok kritikan Ogy. Macam hebat sangat dia tu. Aku tak ingat pulak kehebatan dia dulu macam mana. Bagi kritikan macam budak2 tu tak ada perasaan. Itukan AF je. Bukan sekolah betul yang boleh dapat degree ke apa. Dah kalau orang suka, orang nak sokong, etc, persembahan mangkuk ayun pun orang tetap suka. Kamu nak kritik macam mak nenek sekalipun, tak dapat mengubah apa-apa. Kamu tu siapa pun. Professor serba tau ke.

Tidur, berehat, makan, tengok tv sesuka hati adalah erti cuti rehat sebenar bagi aku. Ringkas, padat dan I like it that way. Kan best kalau selalu boleh buat begini, tapi duit mencurah2 dari langit rumahku -_-

Now, jumping into a more serious title. The cross-over from judiciary into chambers. That's current threat. I take the general voice that nobody loves to change workplace and work scope. Mainly because we have commitment to attend to. But being in service, you have no choice of your own.

None, except if you belong to a certain group of lucky people. People who have connection with the policy makers. Perhaps you can make a special request for your post. I wanted to become a teacher (for example) in Sekolah Menengah Sungai Pendek, which is behind my house, opposite to my parent's house, and near to my kids' kindergarten.

If you are a layperson like me, having no special connection with anybody, and there's an order for transfer to an alienated place with completely different job description awaits, take it as though you have no other choice but to meet your destiny. It's like - take it, or leave it. No. I m not being ordered to move out of this place. Not yet. At least not for this month.

I still remember the feeling of being unwanted during my first transfer out from Drafting. It's hurtful.

The colleagues and staffs there told me that the 'chief drafter' will keep me there for as long as I perform good. I remember my immediate boss told me that she wanted to train me to become one of the best in her unit. So, when I was successful in the interview and waited for the fresh posting, I was not curious to know where would I be posted. In fact, all of my friends in my small batch went back to their offices doing their daily job as if nothing could have happened and they will remain there forever. 

I had that notion too. It should be better to stay. I had so many things to ponder and learn. I went into many meetings. I accepted many interim duties. I did many minutes and I even got pending works loading my old computer. I was happy, though the workloads seemed unfinished by end of the month but the next meeting was just two minutes away from the first. It was hell a busy schedule I had. But I was happy having friends around and a good boss on my head.

But that's not for long. The learned 'chief drafter' was elevated to JC. She's gone. Oh my God, said one of my friends. How's your posting? She looked at me as how I looked furiously at her.

Unfortunately, the replacement did not think that I was worth to maintain. I guess. The AG sought his opinion before coming to his decision that I don't belong to his well-performed division. So instead of maintaining me there, he posted me into the Judiciary. 

I was sad because I loose my good boss and friends, as well as my seniority. My friends were not necessarily those L.41 only, but the L48 (masa tu takda 44 lagi) until L.54 (ketua Unit) were friends. My unit-boss said, it was a waste for sending me out as she loose someone that she can further train. She told me, one day she'll ask me to be back.

Thereafter, I became a fresh L41 in Judiciary, while my friends were all L41 seniors to the L41 new intake :-(

I guess the transfer was not that bad. I remember there's one boss (L52) that I was working under, who made me cried everyday for my lousy job. She always said - you fresh graduate are silly, lazy brad. You expect spoon feeding. You did nothing but rubbish! We learn from scratch. From scratch you know! - Aku asyik terngiang2 dengan perkataan 'rubbish' dgn 'scratch' ni sampai sekarang. Well, at least the transfer saved me from her madness :-)

Now, my boss who used to appreciate me, had been transferred out to places. Dulu state LA kat Penang, lepas tu entah ke mana2. So I guess she did'nt remember me anymore -_- well, who am I to be remembered pun...

I was once unwanted by that division. During the HLP interview, the panel said I should become a DPP. I should learn the vibe of their wisdom so that I could be firm and wise. Oh dear panel. You have no idea that the division had refused me years ago. Indirectly, the panel offered me out because I am unwanted here. Am I right?

I like this job. But I realize it's not mine forever. Someone will come and replace me. In return, I will have to vacate this place and go somewhere to replace other people's place. That's how the thing works. I may not like the new place and the nature that calls for it. But they say, sometimes perubahan boleh membawa kebaikan. Jadi, aku pasrah. Jika itu adalah yang terbaik Tuhan takdirkan untukku.