Post HLP Interview

This is my remark against myself, of my performance during the HLP interview that we just had this morning.

"ppffftttt!!!"

I had never done excellent in any of my interviews. So did I this morning. :-p
Perhaps due to my low self esteem? ---> YES

I have this inexplicable difficulty to deal with my inferior complex.
No matter how ready I was before the interview, when I went before the interviewer, I'd feel insufficient good with any of my answers.

Some answers were definitely given out of good phrase, or even the worst sentence ever.
Being not a spontaneous person, to construct a good or reasonable answer requires me to have myself out somewhere without enchroachment of any creature. This is surely impossible for an interview.

Aku sepatutnya pinjam sikit 'semangat' anak raja, atau anak dato' yang sangat confident dengan diri mereka. Sedangkan aku, lebih selesa dengan bahasa melayu, mereka takut jika berbahasa melayu dengan interviewer, akan kedengaran seperti bahasa kampung. "My bahasa language is very kampong maaa..." ~ do you speak english all the time? ~ kataku dalam hati.

This morning, I gave almost all wrong answers to all questions. I even mistakenly translated an important word in my proposal (YA ALLAH...! macam mana tu...TERUK BETUL minah NI...Tak cek ke apa hangpa ni????) ~ tu yang rasa nak terjun ke luar tingkap, tapi nak lalu ke tingkap tu kena naik atas meja yang ada interviewers semua. So? Tak jadi lah

But anyway, back to my inferiority, in 2004 I passed my first interview with the big shots of AGC. That was when they acknowledged and offered me the contract post.  Not bad kan...

The 2nd interview was about 1 year after the first. It was by the Commissioner for the appointment of legal officer (depa kata SPKP). The interview was necessary to evaluate the performance of the contract officers before they could be appointed as permanent officers. I was successful in that hard interview. Not bad lagi sekali...

I saw many good people who were brilliant graduates failed both interviews. I saw few of them had taken the interview for more than once. Ada yang datang kali ke 3, tapi masih gagal.

I did not perform well. I know. The feelings when I was out of the interview room 'told' me so.

But hey, look where I am now. (Smile).

This morning, leaving the interviewers with exactly the same feelings that 'told' me I did not do well, I was like, ah...~ let it go.

What else?

If it means for you, no matter how lousy you did, Insyaallah you'll get it. Aameen...

But it's the post interview feels that disturb me a bit.