Missing

Husband will be back today (yeeeeha!)

In fact he has been on his way home since yesterday afternoon. They were driving from Phuket towards Danok and after a long journey of almost 12 hrs, they only reached the boarder by 12 midnight. Husband texted me to inform that he's out of energy to drive further and they decided to stop before Bukit Mertajam. He said, Insya allah they'll reach KL by late afternoon.

Arissa has been missing her ayah. So much that she refused to sleep without ayah. 

She keeps murmuring "nak ayah... nak ayah..." as I told her "ayah balik nanti..".

This morning I woke up at 5.30am for my delayed Isya' prayer and some house chores. Arissa awaken by 6am as she wanted her milk. After finishing it, I realised that she got her pants all wet. Seems that huggies diapers could not afford to patch her excessive urine nowadays. 

"Ibu buat apa tu?" she asked, despite knowing that I was cleaning her. Then she sit down watching me folding the blanket. Suddenly she cough. Little.

Then she throw up all the milk she just had.

"Arissa...! Kenapa muntah pagi2 ni??" I said that feeling pissed off. She's wet again. 

The bed's wet too (ahhh!)

I v got no choice but to change her clothes. She wanted to bathe. "Nak anndi?" waiting in front of the toilet door. I said no. "Sejuk... nanti Ica de...?" she continued "mam....!"

Then she off for her cartoon at the living space. As she enjoyed her morning favorite program, I continue with settling myself for work. When I was ready, she looked at me saying "Tak nak ikut... nak tatoon..."

"okay, babai..." she waived to me as I walked out the door to my car. 

She was so selamba. As if she could survive alone. 

I wonder what would happen if I dare to leave her home alone.

After few minutes coaxing the spoilt little brad, I managed to take her to nursery. 

As I carried her on my left side, she shook my hands and kiss my cheek for few second.

Arissa ingat ayah tak? - Ingat...

Arissa rindu ayah tak? - Windu...

Then she said - "Ayah takda... ayah keje.."

Before I left, Arissa was standing at the nursery's door. She cried slowly. She seemed so sad. I never left her in such motion. I began to feel guilty. But do I have other choice?

We are missing the big guy. I hope we'll be together for the rest of the weekends.